HCM summary guide

Ok folks, the time has come. I contributed a lot in the late 90’s in Thailand and other Asia locations under "Bushtucker man". Time to give not lurk. Herewith my view of Ho Chi Minh City P4P. This review based on 5 trips over the last 6 months.

It’s fucking brilliant. I’m comparing to Bangkok, Manila, KL, Singapore, Tokyo, Hong Kong, Beijing, London, Paris, Las Vegas, LA and many more. Only German FKK comes close. Why? Because the girls are so fresh and inexperienced. Real orgasm’s, real GFE.

The facts. Your options are.

1/ Massage downtown D1 2/ Bar girls 3/ Moto girls 4/ Hot Toc

First up. .

A) If you’re staying 3* or up and are planning action, #1, get yourself your own play room. Best to head over Nguyen Hue and get a hotel away from plain clothes police who hang around Ho Huan Nghiep, Dong Du, Mac Thi Buoi, HBT, Thi Sach and Thai Van Lung – where all the action is. Best safe houses that will give you a fine room for $25-$30 are Luc Phuc at 104 Ky Con and La Dauphin corner Le Thi Hong Gam and Ky Con. Don’t take a girl and do drugs in New Hotel but for a quick bang while your missus isn’t looking it’s fine. Ho Sen are also very accommodating. New Hotel is on Ho Huan Nghiep just off the bottom of DK and Ho Sen is just up from Apocalyspe Now on Thi Sach.

B) Moto’s – these guys all get 50, 000 – 100, 000 kick backs when they take you anywhere and you lowest negotiable price will go up by that and more. See below – hire one of the guys for half/full days – promise a 100, 000 – 200, 000 tip if they treat you good and tell them you know about the kickbacks. If you’re just going for a ‘strike’ – get them to drop you on a corner intersection and walk to your destination from there.

Massage downtown

For a quick fix, Government kickbacks allow Yawara (cnr DK and Dong Du) and Sacha (alley way 50 m up Dong Du from the Sheraton) in particular to offer HJ/BJ to international guests. You will pay but the service is good to world class. Negotiate up front than get your money’s worth. You won’t pay less than 800, 000 and often 1m and they’ll start you at the magic US$100 (1, 600, 000) so don’t wait until she’s got you hard. A 30 minute long slow HJ/BJ with oil very under rated in my book. Other massage places in D1 are mostly legit although some of the girls will give you their number if they like you.

Bar Girls

These girls are different to Thai bar girls. They don’t get anything like the volume of business and are very frequently completely new. Check policy on lady drinks to take a girl out before you do anything. Best from sampling all of them is NY Saigon, followed by Cali. Chieu Thuy is a dump away from the action but has some very choice fresh girls and has backhanders that let them stay open after 1am most nights. It’s the place to end your night. Ny Saigon (on Dong Du) is the only place without lady drink cover and strict no drugs – so if the safest bet for the risk averse. Ms Bao at Cali (on Mac Thi Buoi) will try to get 6, 50, 000 lady drinks. Mr Hi at Chieu Thuy Top of Thai Van Lung Cnr Ly Tu Trong) will try for 8 but will go 6 if you ask up front. If you want in house BJ for 400, 000. #29 at the bottom of DK has a single room for that purpose and #49 and #51 will sometimes oblige and sometimes not. Price to take a girl out is always going to start at US$100 asking – all will go with $50 if you look like you know prices. LT can be got for $75. Not particularly cheap. But oh the quality. 9’s and 10’s to be found.

Each place has it’s own ‘safe house’ and you’ll pay an extra $25 or more for ST and may get hassled. Get your own room before you start.

Bars are not hard to find. As of my last trip there is now a small tourist map on sale in lots of shops and hotels (eg Ho Sen, Apocalyse Now, Linh Hotel) called the MySherpa guide/map. US$6. You can buy it online www.mysherpa. Info. This has all the places marked.

Moto Girls

Head to the bottom of DK. To a man these dudes make their money from girls & drugs. I’ve tried them all. Tam 0907 756 679 has access to dozens. He’ll negotiate down to 500, 000. Quality from 6-8. He is also your man to give you your Hot Toc experience. Don’t give him any money in advance. Most trust worthy, likeable and all round nice guy who will take care of everything for you, is Hiep. Book him for moto tours, and all the action – 200, 000 half day 400, 000 full day will keep him your friend. 0908 133 955. He can get some great girls – 7 – 9.

Hot Toc

Ah the joy. Head out of D1 to crumby places filled with amazing girls who don’t see many westerners. Negotiate this with Hiep or Tam above and they can get you a splendid BJ/HJ for 300, 000 – 400, 000. These girls will also then be delighted to head into D1 to your shag pad in the morning or after work for a very affordable price. On sample of 5 different Hot Toc’s, all were good. If you’re going on your own steam – try Thanh Ngan at 252a Ly Thai To St in D3 Tel 8322 532. My personal favourite is Hong Ngoc at 29/4 Huynh Tan Phat – KP2 – P. Binh Thuan in D7. Just because I think I was the first foreigner they had ever seen and the girls fought over who could ‘do’ me. The enthusiasm of the service was unrivalled. My 18 year girl couldn’t keep the grin off her face and did a very very long BJ with porn star like skill. She came over at 7. 30am the following morning to my hotel and fucked my brains out for an hour before I started work – again 400, 000.